Bottles of Lost

New refreshing Lost water. Gotta love it (cause we say so)
Listen hard, and read this true
I have a disgruntled tale for you.
With shameless plugs and ads galore
That'll have you crying "Please, no more".

T'was once a network on Aussie waves
Devoid of ratings or critical rave.
Then two US shows came up for bid
And quick smart, they bought it they did.

"But how to make people know" they thought
"Of all these wonderous shows we've bought?"
"But of course" they said, light bulbs lit bright
"We'll force-feed these shows with all our might".

And so it began, the great campaign
'Til man, woman, child knew the shows' names.
One has a plane crash taking control
T'other shows a lady giving her head a new hole.

Much o'the campaign was riddled with cheese
Vox pops from that network's celebs, oh please.
The tennis was too a mighty great blast
With commentators promoting out o'their arse.

The pilot of Desperate Housewives was shown
In many a house, t'was nary a groan.
2.5 million tuned in to watch
Non-stop advertising does that much.

Thursday day, that night Lost would screen
There were chesty women ever so green
Shamelessly giving out bottles of Lost
To folk who didn't give a great toss.

Many people watched that show called Lost
It seems these shows were worth the cost.
The network must've smoked some bad stuff
'Cause they thought that once wasn't enough.

So 'encore' specials were on the cards
Just in case our friend's lives were marred.
They aired not one, twice, but thrice
It's like having an arm in a vice.

So week two of these 'promising' shows
Guarantees some more marketing lows.
When Desperate Housewives is back on the clocks
Maybe we'll be sucking their...lollipops.